Responsibilities and Thoughts.

Another fast paced few weeks passes by.

I think busy is an understatement with my life.

God is good. Especially when you give everything, He knows.

I've received 2x HD in my major assignments, almost guaranteeing me a Distinction at least in my final results for 2 modules.

I don't think I really deserved it, and I don't really know how I managed to pull it off. All I can say is that it coincided with the ultra hectic Unicell Evax Night.

I've been nominated to spearhead the Sponsorship and Marketing for Singapore Student Association, and I've also been asked to consider leading and coordinating Unicell.

Funny.

Despite my penchant for running away from leadership, it usually wriggles itself back somehow into my syllabus.

I've accepted to do the Sponsorship and Marketing for the SSA, but I've yet to give my green light for leading and coordinating Unicell.

The problems in my own life are of such a great magnitude it makes me wonder if I am actually fit to run Christ's ministry.

I miss home.

I was just reading Simon's comics on Unconditional Love again, and found myself tearing a bit.

I miss the days of familiarity, of true, good friends whom I can share everything and anything with without fear.
I miss Haryanto and Simon, but my closet nature witholds me from talking with them. Perhaps my apathy at whatever may be going on.

I miss my Mum and Dad, I wonder if they're doing ok, and if my Dad is exercising...

I miss my brothers, seeing them on WoW only makes them feel somewhat closer, but further at the same time..

I miss... well, I'm not going to say anymore.

All I can say is, "You're always amazing, you'll always be amazing. Just the way you are."

A breath of air. In between assessments.

Life is so crazy...

I think one of the reasons why I'm not really blogging nowadays is because there comes a critical point in your "brain-blog-storage" when it overloads, and you weirdly lose interest in writing because there is simply such a massive amount of information that you probably would want to write and this is a very long sentence.

Well, it's time to update. Despite not updating for the past God-knows how many days, my blog is not dead, even if I've lost a bit of my passion for blogging.

One of my modules (or units) is called "Consumer Culture and Identity", where we do study a bit of 'Fashion' modules.

As painful as it sounds for me, after all, I doubt many people would consider me fashionable or even knowledgeable in Fashion, I realize that it is quite interesting after all.

Well. A few days ago, I was having a discussion with a good friend, and the topic of "what would I never do" came up.

Being quite militaristic in my own lifestyle, I obviously had a set of 'rules' that I would never do. But after thinking and discussing about it for awhile, a set of stark conclusions came to mind.

I think I'm narcissistic.

Haha. I've always jokingly said that if I had an exact twin I would fall in love him. But there is a weird sense of deja-vu when someone else says that to you.

Bah.

I'm alive and kicking. Anyway.

My gym routine is getting more and more harsh, and I'm pushing myself much, much further then I ever had in my entire life.

It is paying, bit by bit, but there's still quite a bit more before I'm satisfied.

.. or will I ever be.

shucks.

I'm rambling.

Oh. The reason why I can blog is actually because I've finished 3 major assignments and handed it up a few days ago.

So... it's breather time for me now.. at least for a few days.

lol. It's amazing that people actually still come to this blog.

From a few hundred views a day, to about twenty people visiting regularly still. Interesting.

*waves*

I'll blog more often!

=D

I think I've lost my passion for blogging. =(

Breaking the silence.

People.

The single, most complicated factor my life revolves around.

People this, people that. Relations this, relations that.

Networking has brought my life closer to the brink of insanity then connecting it. But, it's pretty much a bottomless pit, which offers all sorts of strange rewards and punishments as well.

Ha.

Well... Homesickness is starting to prick me already.

Missing people back home, missing places, missing food, missing the smells, the sights.

But most of all, wondering what is going on back home.

- apart from the recent political turmoil.

Sigh.

Life has been good, so far. My results, still pending marking for the mid-semester. Hopefully, I can do well, by God's grace.

Autumn has come in full swing, and the weather is starting to bite.

Temperature can drop to as low as 14 degrees at night and sometimes, a blanket is not even enough to keep you warm.

- if you're not motivated to go switch on your heater, you might jolly well be in for a shivering night.

Currently, I'm in my practically lowest motivation for studying, as all my assignments have just be handed in. But the bigger projects are ahead, and as of May, I would have exactly 1 month to finish them.

It's tough. Mega-tough. But I would be darn if I fail any - or even leave it at a just-pass.

My diet is also getting topsy turvy.

I eat more Asian food here then I eat in Singapore, basically cos I cook my own food for most of the meals I eat a week.

My diet would generally consist of:

45% Lean protein

45% Low GI carbo

5% Fat

Ideally, I would try to veer towards more protein. But yeah, you can imagine how expensive meat is in Australia.

(That being said, vegetables vary too. The chili padi that I paid such a high price at Yuen's supermarket for cost me $7.50 per packet)

Well.... it's holiday week! Or rather, recess week!

So, I've been around, to the Sunshine Coast, instead of Gold Coast.

Awesome place, it just sucks that you need to drive to be able to experience all these sights.

I'm getting fat too. The past few weeks stripped alot of my exercise routine off...

Bah.

I've also offered my services, in the Brisbane Chinese Christian Church, as a pianist. Guess wad, for the Chinese service!

It's amazing how God opens up pathways to strange places.

I believe I have a purpose for going there, and of course, I would not, for anything in the world, give up my music ministry for another.

I hope...

I hope.

That this time round, I would be able to hold my head up high when I return back.

Pictures of my rooom =D

For those whom it may concern. =)

Riding the Wave

Today I went out with the Campus Christian Movement people to Gold Coast again!

The last time I went to Gold Coast, I was just awestruck by the sheer beauty of the waves and the sea. The beach was whitish-gold, and I kid you not, sparkling. And the water was a rush of blue and white foam

The wide ocean can be so beautiful.

Then, I did not really step into the ocean.

But I went today with a really cautious outlook.

For some who may not know yet (but presumably you would know if you're reading my blog), Japan has been hit by one of the most powerful tsunamis in recorded history.

The flood images and videos are so terrifying... It bring chills up my spine just thinking about it.

And there I went, into the roaring waves and waves that are way, WAY higher then you.

The screams of laughter and joy was muted by parallel thoughts of fear and pain that the victims of the Japanese Tsunami suffered.

Because of that, I automatically mentally recorded the feeling of how a huge wave felt like.

I turned on my analytical mode and really felt and heard, and saw how how a big wave would feel.

Surfers paradise is such a famous place for huge surf-able waves because of the geographical structure of the beaches.

While you may see beautiful white beaches on the land, much of the beach is underwater. Like sand-dunes.

Physical geography students will be able to tell you that waves break when they hit the shore. Geography students who ace it will be able to tell you that they break when they hit a sudden increase in land mass.

Which is what the beaches in Gold Coast are like. Sand dunes, with mounds that causes waves to break at irregular intervals throughout the coast at unbelievable heights.

This is exactly how the waves look like

Anyway,

I must say, I'll never underestimate a wave again.

The biggest waves are not those that you can see the crest coming towards you, but rather those that you can feel before you see the crest.

Imagine.

You're standing on a shallow part (shallow in Singapore context), up to the upper thighs, in the water.

You see a surfer suddenly paddle lengthwise furiously. (which normally is an indication of a huge wave coming - but at that time, I didn't know).

Now the scary part happens. And it happens all in like 10 seconds.

You feel the sand shifting beneath your feet. The water is pulling your feet back unnaturally strong. It's like a sucking sensation pulling your heels back into the water.

You change position to get a better standing but,

Before you know it, a horizontal column of water suddenly looms up behind you.

You don't SEE the crest, but you hear it first.

It's a loud, LOUD roar, literally deafening as the entire horizontal column of water rears up, shadowing you.

You instinctively turn to face the beach (*in my case more to protect my spectacles from being smashed away).

I jumped. Hoping not to get caught under the wave.

Wrong move.

The wave slammed into my back. It wasn't painful, but it was terrifying. Like being caught in.. I don't know how to describe it.

I think the only way to put it is... powerless.

You CANNOT do anything to fight it, you can barely move your hands, you curl up into a ball and you get caught underneath shortly.

The wave roars, and your whole vision is white - the crest, and for a moment, you're high up on the crest, before you are swept outwards for a few meters then crashed towards the shore about 10 meters.

The whole process was about 20 seconds, but it was definitely an experience.

This is just merely an average surf-able wave. Can you imagine those legendary surfs?

Can you imagine a tsunami?

It's terrifying really, especially the roar of the waves and the powerlessness to do anything at all.

It's enough for anybody who has been under and above these waves to believe in the power of the tides.

That aside, I did have a really fun day at the beach with the CCM people and made a lot of friends.

Btw, I'm not sure if the other 3 friends I was with got the wave but by the time I got out of my "dazed" stage, they were happily catching other waves.

Of course, the dangers are there, but we played super-safe, or rather, after that wave, I kept a cautious, wary eye on the waves.

So, this is my experience log. My first experience of "riding the wave", in Australia's legendary Gold Coast.

=D

The New World

It's been a long time. Haha...

It's time to open up this chapter.

Firstly, apologies to all those who have been reading my blog for information on where I stay and contact information etc. My internet, accommodation and line has been giving me some problems, but everything is confirmed now!

Address:

6 Maidstone Street, Kelvin Grove QLD 4059

Mobile:

04 1165 9944 (For Australia Contacts)

+614 1165 9944 (For International Contacts)

I'm not working at the moment, because -

1) I'm swamped with school homework:

As evidence from the pathetic amount of time I'm spending on my pricey World of Warcraft account.

2) It's hard to get a convenient place to work

that

3) Allows me to be flexible with my work hours

and

4) Grants me, an international student tax-relief

My only free day is a Thursday, which I normally use for catching up my readings.... and Saturdays are swamped with activities.

I go to Brisbane Chinese Christian Church on Sundays, and've joined a cell ministry called Unicell which meets every Saturday evening.

My food is almost 90% own cooking, diet regulated and absolutely sparkling clean and healthy.

=p

Enough updates? Are these the information you all are looking for?

hahaaha....

****************

Apart from that, my life is rather lonely.

Not that I dislike it a lot, but rather I've come to the realization that I've always taken people around me for granted.

Rather... the emotions that they generate in me.

I'm pretty disciplined in a weird way when I'm alone. I'll sweep my floor every morning, arrange my bed to a neat standard way, throw out the trash... before I even proceed to do anything else.

All these without nagging. - Simply amazing.

The fact remains that I've always been living in a pretty sterile environment that my parents brought me up in, that even alone, I just have to do meet that standard.

Well...

I'll be blogging regularly from now on.

But for now, pictures!

Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary

Koala Bear!!! Had that coming!

Me feeding a 'Roo in the sanctuary

Surfer's Paradise!

The scene alongside Surfer's Paradise

ok.. That'll be it!

Tada!

=)

"It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds might have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, if he wins, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

~ Roosevelt

Crash and Burn

Have you ever felt like nothing you ever did was enough?
Like... Everything you did is for naught?

... Truth is... I've a disastrously low self-esteem... And in many ways, it has drastically altered the way I think, the stuff that I do and the people I come in contact with...

Today I saw a guy on the bus, probably 20 or 21 years old... Total stranger. He was en-route to NUS...
Obviously a student, due to the books he was carrying, and probably rich, from the accessories he wore.
He had a flawless complexion and his body was... Well... Awesome.

Duh... I couldn't help but gawk at him.

I kept side-glancing for almost 5 minutes... And... Well... I kept on thinking, "this guy has everything - brains, looks, money... And with that; a resultant factor would probably be tons of friends."

It felt really shitty, especially when I'm at a crossroad in my life.
I felt so damn shitty that I clenched my teeth and tear-ed.

After so long, what have I been able to do with my life?
I definitely don't think I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth... Or for that matter, any spoon at all.
I screwed up 9 years of my education, only waking up at sec 4. Which proved too magnificently late.
The price to pay was astronomically pricey.

All my dreams had to be altered to another course.
I spent 6 months rethinking what to do with my life and finally decided - if I can't make my dreams come through, I'll make others do.
And so, my media ambitions started.

Truth be told, i'm tired... I just want to lead a life where I can be secure....

It's tiring.... It's nightmarish...

Sometimes, I wish I could restart my life and do everything right...
But it's... Too late now...


Sigh...

New Year Resolutions

First post of the new year. 2011.

Marking the 24th year of my life.

With the exception of my fitness goals, I've manged to complete almost all my new year resolutions wholesale last year.

This year is going to be another tough year.

Tough years call for tough resolutions.

As such, these are my resolutions for the year 2011 -

i. Ensure that my transition to Brisbane is flawless.

ii. Be financially independent by June 2011, on proper, decent part-time jobs.

iii. Hit 70kg in ultra-lean, muscle mass.

iv. Read the entire bible once through (again).

v. Make at least 3 very good friends in Brisbane.

vi. Hit at least 90 percentile in my degree

vii. Perform 30 Pull-ups, Chin-ups, Wide-grip, Narrow-grip without rest by June 2011 and 40 by December.

viii. Explore 5 other major sites of interest outside Brisbane, in Australia.

ix. Learn 1 more new sport that I'll enjoy.

x. Cut down my fat percentage to below 10%

Yup.

Ten resolutions for the new year.

=)